My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
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