So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
