Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
be right there i have to get my cape
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
