I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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