ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
