Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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