1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
one two three fourrrrnication!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
