i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
