it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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