Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
