I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
