I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
