Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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