It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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