Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
