she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
