Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
