I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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