it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
