Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
