I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
