matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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