So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
