She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
