so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
