we're chasing vodka with high fives
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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