How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
