Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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