You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
