I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize