Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
