My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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