I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
