I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
