good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
