i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
