What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
