My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
