Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
