he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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