Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
