Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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