Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
