You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
