my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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