Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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