Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
