It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
