Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
