no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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