Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
