The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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