can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
