she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
