he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize