you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Pants are for mortals
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
