ugly people sure do ruin things
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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