you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
