whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
