My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
They took my balls.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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